Oh hello there!
It has been a minute since my last post here and that is because I have just (OK, about a month and a half ago whoops!) given birth to a baby boy on the 2nd of September. I can’t believe I’m a mom now! It still feels surreal that the baby I carried for 9 months is now in my arms. I am so so excited for the birth of my son and please read along for the full birth experience!
August 18th, 2020 (36 weeks 3 days pregnant)
At about 3 am, I had a false labour. I woke up and felt wet under there thinking that my water broke so I woke my husband up, we both took a shower, and went to the hospital where I was brought to the labour room. All in all, I did not give birth that day and the wetness I felt under there might be false alarm. The labour nurse did give me a vaginal examination (in Malay we’d call it seluk lol) and I was not dilated at all.
At about 9 am, I went to see my gynae where she gave me another vaginal examination and took a swab test. She also did ultrasound and my baby was fine. Since I had to be induced at 38 weeks because of my gestational diabetes and it was also a Covid-19 season, I had to do the nasal swab test so I can be admitted to the general ward instead of the isolation room.
In a day, I was given 2 vaginal examinations and did a nasal swab test. Painful day it was!
September 1st, 2020 (38 weeks 3 days pregnant)
I was scheduled for an induction of labour today. I arrived at the hospital around 7 am, my husband registered me and then I was brought to my room. My husband got me the single deluxe room and it was worth it! The doctor gave me a vaginal examination and I was already 1.5 cm dilated before induction. She then induced me at 8.40 am by inserting a pessary into my vagina to start the contraction. I gradually started feeling the contraction after half an hour. It wasn’t so bad but it did hurt like a menstrual cramp. I have high pain threshold so I was still able to have conversations with my husband, ate breakfast provided by the hospital and texted my mom. I got through a few pages of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone before the pain got a little intense so I had to stop reading.
After lunch time, the contraction got worse and I was in quite a bit of pain. The nurse checked my opening and I was still 1.5 cm dilated since the morning. Around 5 pm, I just couldn’t take the pain anymore because it would be a long way to go until I reached 10 cm so the nurse took out the pessary and gave me painkillers and we’d try again tomorrow.
I had the best sleep ever from the painkillers. Worked like a charm! And no, it wasn’t epidural. I did not take any epidural during labour. I think it was just pethidine if I’m not mistaken.
September 2nd, 2020 (38 weeks 4 days pregnant)
Around 6 am, a nurse came and inserted a suppository so I poop before I went to the labour room. I took a shower and everything and they brought me to the labour room around 7 am. The nurse checked my opening and I was already 3 cm dilated! They started the induction by giving me an IV drip. The contraction hasn’t started yet so I ate my breakfast like a champ. It was scrambled eggs and croissants. So, so good! I still think about it until today.
My husband can’t accompany me in the labour room because he didn’t do the Covid-19 swab test but he was allowed to go in when I was about to push and accompany me in my room, just in case you’re wondering how’s the procedure during this pandemic. However, this is only for private hospitals and I believe you can’t have a caretaker/visitor in government hospitals.
After about two hours, the contraction went nuts! It was nothing like I felt yesterday oh my god. I can still endure the pain, it wasn’t THAT bad but it wasn’t unnoticeable either because I was in pain. I can endure the pain, but I WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN.
At noon, I was 4 cm dilated and the doctor broke my water. I can feel a gush of warm water coming out but I just didn’t care anymore because the contraction was painful to the point where I asked for painkillers that I had yesterday. Just normal pethidine, not an epidural. But nope, the painkillers didn’t help at all what the heck! All it did was making me sleepy but not helping with my pain at all. AT ALL!
The contraction has become more frequent at every 5-10 minutes and I’ve just been crying all the time. Every time the nurse came to check on me, they did vaginal examination as well to check my opening and at that point I couldn’t feel their fingers in me anymore because I was too overwhelmed dealing with the contraction. I kept crying and calling for the nurses every time my contraction came but honestly they couldn’t do anything because I was only around 6, 7 cm. I couldn’t start pushing so it was just a waiting game for me.
At 3 pm, I asked for epidural because I couldn’t deal with the contraction anymore but was denied because I was already 8 cm dilated. The nurses asked me to inform my husband that he can come in to be with me because they saw that I was in so much pain. The word ‘pain’ itself couldn’t justify what I was feeling. The contraction was the most painful thing I have ever felt in my whole entire existence. I have never felt that much pain in my 25 years of living. I thought I was going to die.
My husband came in and I honestly do not understand why women in labour would want their husbands/moms to be with them during labour because to be quite honest they don’t help with managing the contraction at all hahaha. My contraction has become more frequent at every 2 minutes and I remember just screaming and shouting for the nurses. I wanted the baby out and I meant right at that moment. I didn’t want to feel this ever again, ever. I wanted to die, I wanted the pain to just go away. I even thought to myself why did I put myself in this position, why did I got pregnant, do I want a baby that bad because the contraction was shit. Fuck. I was writhing in so much pain.
I kept screaming I wanted to just start pushing and the nurse checked me again and thank god I was already 10 cm dilated. They called my doctor, she came, and I started pushing. My husband kept stroking my hair to calm me but I told him off because I was in pain and what he did was annoying hahaha. In between contraction, my doctor put her fingers inside me to feel the baby’s head and I shouted “doctor, janganlah seluk seluk saya, sakitlah!” hahaha.
I can see the doctor’s hands was so full of blood. My blood. I think I pushed for about 30 minutes to an hour but the baby just wouldn’t come out. I didn’t have any energy left as the only meal I had that day was the breakfast croissant and the painkillers I took at noon was still making me sleepy. All I wanted to do was sleep. I didn’t want to push anymore. I didn’t have it in me to push anymore. The contraction kept coming but I was drained. All I wanted to do was sleep. I have no energy to push again.
The doctor wanted to try vacuum extraction and for me to try pushing one more time but I told her I can’t do it anymore and I wanted a C-section. I was so done pushing this baby out of me. I think one of the reasons why I opted for C-section at that time was the anaesthetic injection. I just wanted to stop feeling the contraction. It hurt so much.
While they prepped me for the emergency C-section, they gave me the consent form but I didn’t bother reading it at all. I put my signature to where they pointed me and then I closed my eyes for a moment. I couldn’t fight the pain anymore. When the pain got too much to bear, I screamed “nak bius, nak bius, saya nak bius sekarang!“
They wheeled me out of the labour room to the operation room. I was drowsy almost to sleeping and when contraction came I just screamed “nak biussssssss!!!” At that moment, I didn’t think of the fact that I was about to meet my son. I was more looking forward to being put under. I am done with the contraction!
They moved me to the operation table, prepped everything and I can hear the anaesthetist came when the nurses greeted her. She injected my spine with regional anaesthesia and oh my god.
Oh my god. It was the best thing ever. My chest below was numb from the anaesthesia almost immediately. I can’t feel the contraction anymore! Heck, I can’t feel anything at all! I remember just smiling, lying down, closing my eyes as the drug was taking effect, and letting the doctors and nurses do their work as long as I didn’t have to feel the contraction anymore.
I was in the state of bliss!
One of the nurses said the prayers before the surgery. It wasn’t long until I felt them pushing my upper limb to get the baby out. I did not hear my baby cry but I knew that he was already out from the ooh and aah. The paediatrician worked on my baby and shortly after I heard him cry. A wash of relief took over me and I was so glad that my baby is out already! While the doctor worked on closing me up, the nurse brought my baby to my chest. He was crying and I was so so emotional, I’m finally a mom. The nurse said “Ni baby boy eh, tengok betul betul” and asked me to really look at his genital area hahahaha. I kissed him twice. He’s so cute! They brought my baby to my husband who was waiting in the labour room so he can say adhan to him.
They took around an hour to close me up and then I was wheeled to recovery room where they kept a close eye on my vitals. I think I was there for about half an hour and then they brought me to my room. My husband went home to shower and everything so it was just me in the room resting. A few hours later, my mom came and I asked the nurse to bring my baby to the room. He’s so tiny and red and ugh I just love him. I’m in love!
At 3 hours of life 😄
September 3rd, 2020 (day 1 postpartum)
In the morning, a few nurses came and cleaned me since I still can’t go to the bathroom because of my fresh incision. The anaesthesia has finally worn off and I got out of bed to go to the washroom. My body was sore especially around my abdomen. It was to be expected –– I just had a major surgery about 18 hours ago. It took me 15 minutes in the toilet to poop — it hurt to push. In the afternoon, my mom came and brought me confinement food! Yum. I basically spent the whole day in the hospital room cuddling my son and watching tv.
September 4th, 2020 (day 2 postpartum)
Day 4 of being at the hospital. I was so done living there for the past couple of days and was looking forward to be discharged. My gynae came in the morning to check on my incision and told me that she would like to keep me for a few more hours before I can be discharged just to see that everything’s going great. She released me in the late afternoon. My husband went to pay the bills, I packed my stuff and everything, the nurse came to brief us about our son’s birth registration and it was finally time to go home! Yeay!
My son is 7 weeks old today and is already looking so big! He had his monthly shot just last week. He cried for a little bit, such a good boy! He loves bathing with warm water and screams when the water is a little bit cold, he can handle not wearing clothes but take off his diapers and he will cry, he sleeps better with classical music in the background, and smiles a lot when we cuddle in the morning.
In case you’re interested, I gave birth at An-Nur Specialist Hospital, Bangi via emergency C-section with Dr. Wan Masliza. I love her so much! She’s super nice and experienced and I always looked forward to my monthly checkup with her.
That’s it for my labour and delivery story! It was indeed one heck of an experience that I may or may not want to repeat, depending on how much I want another baby after this hahaha *still traumatised from the contraction*